Episode one of The Bachelor. This is always the craziest one because the guy doesn't really say anything besides how ready he is to find love, and all the women act ridiculous. Oh. And you can never keep all the women straight. So I'm going to write about each one in the order they came to the Bachelor house, all the things I noted, and if they stayed. After this episode, I'll probably do the whole episode chronologically, but this one is just too crazy to do that with.
Rachel- 27 years old. Blond, wears a red dress. When she walks up, she compliments him on his appearance and is generally nice. She also gets the first one on one with him, and tells him she left her job to go on The Bachelor. No pressure. Just saying, that's intense. When Jenna and Monica get in a fight later (more on that later), she tries to be the peacemaker. Receives the 2nd rose.
Erika- 23 years old. Brunette, wears a purple dress. Her opening is telling Ben he is guilty...of being sexy. How not cute. That seems really cheesy and dumb to me. So besides her being a lawyer, I literally got nothing. Receives the 8th rose.
Jamie- 25 years old. Brunette, wears a red dress. She had one of the opening videos, and it was by far my favorite. She is a nurse, and seems very collected and mature. She did mention she has had some family issues, forcing her to care for her siblings at a young age. Probably explains the maturity. Receives the 1st rose.
Elyse- 24 years old. Brunette, wears a brown dress. She walks up and says she is going to make him sweat. Since they had already explained there was a physical trainer, I assume this is her. Later on, she makes him do some push ups. I assume there is something else to that, but they don't explain it, so I have nothing else to add. Receives the 12th rose.
Jenna- 27 years old. Brunette, wears a white dress. Okay. So this chick is insane. She is extremely oversensitive and over analyzes everything. She stresses about everything she said to Ben, and she asks Monica if she is instantaneously attracted to Ben, and when she doesn't answer how she wants, she starts freaking out. Which causes Monica (who is a little drunk) to get mad, which makes Jenna crazier. Which I'm sure means she's going to stay. Too good for television ratings. Right before the rose ceremony, she locks herself in a closet to hysterically cry. She's just intense. That's all I got. Receives the 17th rose.
Courtney- 28 years old. Brunette, wears a black dress. In her opening video, we see she's a model. She enjoys modeling wedding rings, and knows what kind of ring she wants. She describes herself as competitive. This is another girl I'm sure will stick around, because she is pompous and flaunts her sexuality in front of Ben. Basically, Courtney is the Vienna of this season. Receives the 14th rose.
Emily- 27 years old. Blond, wears a black dress. She is a student working on her PhD. She is studying diseases, which obviously makes her have to use that in her opening. I never understand that. Why use cheesy stuff? But whatever. Moving along. She gives Ben sanitizer, and then breath spray, and kisses him. That was cute. I approve. However, later, she raps him a song about diseases. Yeah. You read that right. I had to look away from the screen, I couldn't take it. Receives the 4th rose.
Samantha- 26 years old. Blond, wears a gold dress. She wears her pageant sash and says there's more to her than just a pageant girl. Too bad we don't see anything else. Maybe in a later episode. Receives 13th rose.
Casey S.- 26 years old. Blond, wears a black dress. She walks up, says hi and she's anxious to get to know him, and walks away. See. This is how I would do it. Receives the 6th rose.
Amber T.- 29 years old. Brunette, wears a yellow dress. She has a cute opening- she walks up and walks away, but comes back, saying if he doesn't believe in love at first sight, she came back for a second chance. In her opening video, you can tell she's very outdoorsy. Eliminated.
Holly- 34 years old. Blond, wears a pink dress. She wears a really big hat, saying she is from Kentucky, and they're known for their beautiful women and fast horses. So close to cheesy, but it was cute enough. You see her put her hat on Ben, but that's about it. Eliminated.
Dianna- 30 years old. Brunette, wears a gold dress. She is really awkward in her opening, and can't remember what she had planned to say. During her one on one, she blindfolds him and feeds him candy. I don't know what her plan was here, but it seems like a really intense date for so early, so it becomes really dumb. Eliminated.
Amber B.- 23 years old. Brunette, wears a white dress. Her opening is for him to kiss her hand because her last name is Bacon. Yep. That's it. Hopefully she came up with that on the way there, because that's really stupid. Eliminated.
Blakeley- 34 years old. Brunette, wears a pink dress. She explains that she's a Southerner, and when Ben says there's a few of those inside, she says no, she's the only one. Speaking as a Southerner myself, it is doubtful you are the only Southerner there. Or at least wait until you meet everyone before you decide that. She shows Ben her key to my heart tattoo (flashback of Kasey! Guard and protect her heart!) She enjoys flirting with Monica (more on that later), but she's very pretty, so I'm betting she stays. Receives 3rd rose.
Brittney- 26 years old. Blond, wears a gold dress. She shows up with her grandmother! That was cute, I must admit. She really only talks to Ben with her grandma, who talks about how great she is. I thought she seemed really down to earth and sweet. Receives 7th rose.
Nicki- 26 years old. Brunette, wears a yellow dress. She seems very calm, collected, and mature. She was married when she was 18 years old, but it didn't work out, so now she's divorced. She seems very at terms with that, though. And she doesn't talk about it with Ben immediately, because, intelligently, she decides that information might be better shared at a later date. Receives 10th rose.
Jennifer- 28 years old. Red hair, wears blue dress. The only redhead! She's also an accountant. So, guess what? She uses it in her opening. She says all these numbers. She should've started quoting accounting code. THAT would have been impressive. Receives 11th rose.
Lyndsie J.- 29 years old. Blond, wears blue dress. She's from England. I'm a fan on the accent, but she reads a poem for her opening, and I'm not a fan of that. It occurs to me if everyone did openings like I wanted, this would be the most boring show on the planet. She's also a world traveller and knows lots of languages. I am a big fan of that. Eliminated.
Anna- 25 years old. Blond, wears a silver dress. Know what she does for a opening? She walks by and goes inside. The balls on that girl are massive. And that's all you see of her. So let's guess how that works out. Eliminated.
Monica- 33 years old. Blond, wears a purple dress. That was my favorite dress. So she does a big no-no on episode one of The Bachelor: she gets drunk. As you already know, she gets in a fight with Jenna. She says over and over about how she'll beat her up, how she's too aggressive to be talked to this way. The whole situation is dumb. She also takes a liking to Blakeley. And by liking, I mean I thought they were about to start making out. It was intense. Wonder if that would be a first for The Bachelor? That would be hilarious. Receives 16th rose.
Jaclyn- 27 years old. Blond, wears a black dress. I'm sure she appeared somewhere else in the episode, but I swear that's all I got. But she had to have done something, because Ben recognized her. Receives 15th rose.
Shawn- 28 years old. Blond, wears a green dress. I also really liked her dress, and even though I didn't see her much, I think she might be good. She does start a kickball game in her formal dress, which I really like. Receives 9th rose.
Kacie- 24 years old. Brunette, wears a silver dress. Again, I literally have nothing. Nothing. Hopefully we learn more about her later. Receives 5th rose.
Lindzi C.- 27 years old. Blond, wears a black dress. She comes in on a horse. Yep. A horse. But it's pretty cute. And Ben likes it. When they get on their one on one, they talk about wine and work, which seemed lame to me, but he liked it. How do I know? Because he gave her the first impression rose. He says she makes him laugh and he enjoyed their conversation. Go randomly spelled name girl! Get your man! Receives first impression rose.
Shira- She refuses to give her age. On a dating television show. Whatever. That wasn't a good start for her. Brunette, wears a white dress. She tries to be witty with her opening, telling him to ask a question about wine because she knows everything, but she really knows nothing. Stupid. Eliminated.
This episode, the gold star goes to Shawn. She wore a dress that was different than everyone else's, and started a game of kickball in the dress. She got to stay to the next week, and she made herself stand out from the crowd even though she didn't have much screen time.

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